Just Keep Smiling

Brandon was accepted to UC Davis, and from what I understand, that's a pretty awesome school. Every time I tell someone that he's going there, their jaws hit the floor. He isn't in the best of situations, and I know that having this under his belt would be amazing for his future, but sometimes I wonder if I'll be able to keep myself sane while he's gone. We talk about it all of the time, and he reassures me that everything will be fine. Be happy, he tells me. But I'm not happy at all with this...I'm overjoyed with him. He's my life. But I'm totally breaking apart because he's leaving (I'm a girl, cut me some slack. I'm emotional about this stuff). I'm so familiar with seeing him every day or any time that I can, and knowing I won't able to do that for months at a time almost scares me. What is he going to do when I'm not there? What are his friends going to be like? Will he find someone who can be there for him more than I can be? All of these stupid thoughts race around my mind constantly, and it's horrible, because I can't be around him without thinking of this stuff, and I hate crying in front of him. We'll lay down and talk, and I'll be all smiley and happy, giddy and hyper, but every single time I look into his eyes, I just feel like crying. I don't want to be without him :'(